At last, here it is. The amazing news that absolutely everybody hasn't been waiting for. The launch of the exciting new online phenomenon "flabslab" was greeted with ear shattering silence today, due to the brilliantly sophisticated zero publicity campaign conducted since time began (Oh, so at what time did time begin, smart-ass, 3:47 pm Tuesday 00.00.00?).
Leading lights of the blogosphere were inundated with an absolute dearth of questions by the hordes of reporters who rushed to investigate nothing about this hysteric event in a feeding frenzy of paralysis. From New York to Tokyo, via Little-Piddlington-in-the-Mush, Muddlesex, Wales, work places, pubs, homes and bee-hives were abuzz with talk of everything other than this world numbing news. The world's top leaders including; Al Gore, Mugabe, Castro, Moderate Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas also known as Abu Mazen (as his friends in the MSM call him), Osama (RIP), Ahmadonjihad, Che and the Tooth Fairy spoke, for the first time in history with one resoundingly unanimous voice by giving no comment whatsoever. Could the drug induced dream of world peace suddenly become more than just a mental disorder? Could we really "give peace a chance"?
The Big Oh! himself marked the occasion, Obamamamamessiah spoke of hope and change and pretty pink fluffy-wuffy bunny wabbits, despite not having a clue. Barry H Zero (as he's known to his many ex-friends) drew rapturous adulation from his millions of credulously adoring suckers, composed mainly of very young and naive teenage girls, filthy rich old bohemian billionaires wearing raincoats and black panther wannabees, as he ululated;
"From this moment, on, you, who are really we, which is of course above all else ME, will look back on this time (3.47pm tues 00.00.00) and proclaim; Yes we can go forward to the final solution to our past. Now is the History of our Future! Now your Future is History! "
The enigma, within a puzzle, within a kinder-surprise, within a tupper-ware container that is flabslab was fully available for comment despite being viciously ignored by packs of ravenous paparazzi. From a secret location deep in the dark decaying heart of somewhere never before described as being like living in "Alice in Wonderland written by Franz Kafka" in an interview with none of our reporters flabslab lacked the opportunity to eloquently and with razor sharp wit put to bed the many fundamental unasked questions surrounding this blog and made everything as transparently clear as 3 week old mulligatawny soup.
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